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If you missed the 70^th National Folk Festival held last weekend in Butte, well … you silly person. It’s the oldest multi-cultural traditional arts celebration in the nation and for the first time since the mid-1960s was held west of the Mississippi. If that wasn’t enough, it was FREE!

What a fantabulous event. Live music all day long on seven different stages, great food, crafts, workshops, and glorious weather — but I don’t mean to rub it in.

The event brought to center stage all the cultural diversity that makes this nation great.

What really impressed me was the mass of humanity, flowing like waves of Texas fire ants looking for small animals to sting with their abdomen, injecting a toxic venom until … oops, I’m a little off topic. Uptown Butte was engulfed with a culturally rich homo sapiens aggregate as far as the eye could see – scurrying around with one thing in common — personal hygiene. (more…)

Often we think the worst of people, unwilling to accept them for the wholesomely gifted, beautifully crafted, and heavenly personified carbon-based life forms they are. I do it all the time. The other day, I was riding my bike home, when a lady driving a white mini van tried to run me into a parked car. I hollered, “You’re a blessing to me and my family. May you live long and prosper!” Like heck I did!

I was easily falling into the “think worst” trap after reading Justin Post’s Montana Standard article about “Cost overrun bill irks commissioners.” Who wouldn’t when reading about a contract awarded last year being amended this year at an increase of 72%? I thought, “Wait a minute! It can’t be that much.” Then I checked my math. The 2007 HKM Engineering contract was $344,000, recently amended to $591,734. Subtract the former from the latter, then divide the result by the former, shift the decimal point to allow for daylight savings, and you get 72%. (more…)

Would health conscious trick-or-treaters choose fresh vegetables and fruit over sugar-laced, insulin rollercoaster treats? Sure, and a three-piece suited chimp is joining the presidential race (What party? Does it matter?). Halloween candy is to kids what a dead, partially decomposed, stinky carcass is to a dog. When else can youngsters lose their identity, pound on stranger’s doors, and stuff king-size pillow cases with free candy – later wolfing it down while their dads beg, “Can I have that Snickers?”

It’s important youngsters get a jump on reaching the average American yearly 26-pound gullet wrenching candy ingestion. Some parents spoil the fun by giving Johnny five token treats before hiding the rest, hoping by week’s end his pea-sized brain will shift to composing letters to Santa.

I say, let the kids have at it. With today’s changing values and enzyme treatments, one never knows how long Halloween might last – though it seems to be kicking the old retail keister.

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The other morning I sensed that fall was in the air as I let the dog out to do his thing on our patchwork lawn of yellow dead spots and festive green background. The crisp nip of wind made me reminisce about starting high school cross country practice, running until my lungs burned and I felt like puking. Oh, what fond memories, school-sanctioned sports programs.

A common question facing today’s programs is, “Should my son, who can play basketball better than Lebron James, be forced to play with other 7^th graders who have the skill level of an orangutan?” I had a buddy in junior high, Jerry, who also played primate basketball. It was quite pathetic to watch, but I’m sure today he’s a successful kind of guy who’s hidden the scars of team members rolling off the bleachers with uncontrollable laughter. (more…)

Heck, I didn’t know you could make a buck selling Intellectual Property. This breaking news comes at a great time when my cash flow is at a low tide. Not being the brightest bulb in the box shouldn’t stop me from capitalizing on such a moneymaking scheme. So I’ve been thinking, who took my smarts? The answer’s so easy, it’s amazing most of you parents haven’t though of it. Yep, our kids!

So the way I figure it, I should send my three sons a bill for all the knowledge they’ve stiffed me for over the years. Stuff they use daily, including keen insight about life, love, plumbing repair, and embellishments. Just being able to tell a straight-faced white (or darker color) lie can reap them big dividends. Or being able to wipe out a red-ant pile with a can of gasoline – how can you put a price on that? I don’t recall providing any spreadsheet assistance, but I did help them with multiplication tables, and who can overestimate the important mathematics these days? (more…)

The State of Montana’s revenue department folks have decided my house’s escalated appraised value makes ME worth more dinero than Guam’s GNP. Unless I sell the home I’ve spent years scrimping and saving to build, I’ll never see all that extra moolah. Yet, those property taxes continue to go sky high.

But let’s cut to the chase. Folks getting off the bus with more loot than Fidel Castro are causing those skyrocketing home values. They purchase renovated chicken coup homes for sums verging on what we spent convicting “Scooter” Libby before releasing him. Now I don’t blame people for wanting to live in Montana. It’s a great place. It just p….. (rhymes with hisses) me off that I have to suffer the consequences of inflated home values. (more…)