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Forget about National “Where did I park my car?” Week! Next week is National Parents Week. A time for parents to gather around the aspirin bottle and reminisce about scented disposable diapers or letting someone drive who is less responsible than a potato chip.

Parenting is an underrated pastime. I was a parent for a few years and it was the most amazing out-of-body experience – except for the time I froze my tongue to a tetherball pole. Raising my three sons wasn’t easy or cheap but, of what I remember, my wife did an incredible job.

Today’s young parents face many of the same challenges. Discerning truth from stories, creating clean from filth, developing smarts from potential, and finding justice in a world filled with text messaging babysitters.

So, for National Parents Week, I wanted to ascertain if there really is a difference between my parenting skills and those of a classic young parent — someone who could handle notoriety, fame, ruthless scrutiny, and flat out lies. (more…)

Earlier this fall, after descending the gorgeous east slope of Glacier National Park’s Highway to the Sun, I ended up in Browning searching for a mid-afternoon lunch. Don’t get me wrong, Browning is a swell place but offers limited dining options. Heaven knows I could skip a meal but when my wife says she’s hungry, we eat.

I was in a quandary, play it safe with fast food or brave the unknown. With pressure from the passenger’s seat, my spine became one with a jellyfish and we ate fast food.

Not that local eateries haven’t served me well over the years. I’ve savored incredible meals from a pizzeria in Delta, CO that produced a calzone to die for to a humongous Santa Fe chicken pasta delight at a café in Glendive.

But, most of us have been at the mercy of the classical traveling malady caused by sitting in a car way too long. So pulling into an unknown town, the logical choice isn’t scouring the backstreets for a unique culinary adventure, it’s finding a recognizable franchise sign and heading into the parking lot. (more…)

The other night, my wife and I watched the movie, Mary Poppins. It’s a complex, scary movie full of deception, larceny, and levitated tea parties. A word of advice, “Don’t watch it alone.” Here’s the basic story:

An exceedingly vain nanny descends on 17 Cherry Tree Lane and takes emotional possession of a young girl and boy. She leads them on chalk-induced hallucinogenic adventures while subversively turning them against their banker father. Her anarchist plan climaxes when she convinces the boy to defy his father and use his tuppence to buy stale breadcrumbs. Poppins’ “run on the bank” plan ensues but fortunately is averted by a 700 billion pound financial rescue plan. Sensing prosecution, Poppins skips town.

I get blubbery when Mary Poppins sings, “Feed the birds.” Don’t lie! Your eyes get watery, too.

One bright spot in the movie was the ancient Druid word, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Poppins entices the children to use this seditious exclamation when they don’t know what else to say. Lately, I’ve been using it extensively while reading the nauseating accounts of the economy.

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It’s crunch time – a measly month away from the big showdown. I’m bursting at the seams from a gazillion campaign ads that are a greater health risk than stapling a cell phone to my head. The whole presidential election fiasco is delusional because, if you must know, your vote means practically zip.

You think I’m kidding, don’t you? Well, I have just two words for you: Electoral College (EC). An outfit created by guys in floured wigs — long before electricity and chewable laxatives — without the benefit of Monday Night Football. The EC must stink like sweaty athletic undergarments in a hot locker room because every congress since 1791 has tried to abolish it.

The EC is big, big, BIG! So humongous that the Supreme Court ruled states could forget the popular vote and just have their EC electors (allotment based on congressional representation) choose our president. Electors are like the Tooth Fairy – but a lot harder to identify. Anyone else hearing Twilight Zone music? (more…)