lifestooserious.com

Showing uncompromising pity, Microsoft extended its Xbox 360 warranty because of an E74 error message, similar to the previous 3-red-light issue (a.k.a. “the red ring of death”). Where’s a good Luddite when you need one? You know, those early 1800s textile workers who busted up automated looms – covertly meeting at night on the mossy moors, slugging back overflowing pints of ale. They were hearty renegades, freely speaking insulting, historical British expressions like; “Ye think Jonathan has more ale in yonder wagon?”

Suffering immense financial angst because of goody two-shoe looms, destitute Luddites insightfully knew advancing technology was a plague on society. As today, finding a job back then was tough — touchingly portrayed in Charles Dickens’ immortal story, “A Christmas Carol” where downtrodden Bob Cratchit (played by Kermit the Frog) feared losing his job.

I’m thinking of becoming a Luddite. Busting up widgets and causing riots can’t be that hard plus, as a social maverick rebelling against the digital monster wreaking havoc on society, you’re bound to meet a lot of fun people. (more…)

Michael Vick, the former pro football star, turned myopic felon dog fighter, needs a friend. A faithful ally who’d offer solace after Vick’s bankruptcy plan got thrown out of court because the math didn’t add up (He insisted on keeping two (soon to be three) homes, the Lincoln Navigator and Land Rover.). The plan looked ludicrous to me but I believe the accounting term is “stupid.”

I’m not the world’s most balanced human being — often teetering between scrambled eggs and intellectual disaster. In the truest sense of the word, “NUTS.” But, unlike that sap Vick, I still have a faithful companion.

My “honey-do” list is like federal bailout bucks — never ending. But I occasionally accept my responsibilities, checking the duty roster for options.

So, the other day with my demeanor favoring scrambled eggs, I willingly set out to tackle the “bathroom drawer project.” It was a project I started but didn’t complete. A master of this technique, I typically work until the job becomes mundane and then move on to greener pastures. I heard other husbands do this as well but I doubt it (Even though my wife seems to think it’s a common lack of focus or lackadaisical attitude. She’s funny that way). As a gender, most guys finish what they start. (more…)

There’s something lurking in the bowels of America more insidious than presidential primaries, more constipating than senate hearings, and more threatening to our health than snotty-nosed kids coughing on the salad bar. Only two words can describe it, NCAA men’s basketball playoffs.

Let me clarify one thing; I love watching college basketball. It’s right up there with pizza and twist-top bottles. No other sport offers such fast paced action. But nothing binds my white cotton briefs more this time of year than inane commercials and vocabulary-challenged commentators.

With “March Madness,” rarely do you see more than a brief fleeting glimpse of uninterrupted playing time. Each minute of play equals a minute of commercials. Unless it’s halftime, which is 20 minutes of reporting written by vacationing South African pygmies. The station takes more breaks than a pregnant lady with a bladder infection on a stagecoach ride.

(more…)